The Most Boring Time in Sports

Last week and this week are dead times for sports aficionados like myself. No football, no hockey, no basketball, no college athletics. The major bullriding tour is on vacation. Baseball games are meaningless. The World Cup (soccer to us Americans) and Wimbledon are over. The British Open has not yet begun, and all of the major PGA players are taking time off beforehand. The only "sport" going on right now that has any kind of significance attached to it is NASCAR, both the Busch Series and the Nextel Cup Series.

ESPN has gotten so desperate that it's showing poker (a game, not a sport), dominoes (ditto), and paintball (ditto ditto). For the last two years I actually looked forward to July, because they showed the Great Outdoor Games. What could be more fun than watching dogs weave their ways through obstacle courses, women rolling logs in swimming pools, and men climbing poles with saws strapped to their bodies? No, seriously -- I love this stuff! But this year ESPN has decided to not host the G.O.G. -- what idiot came up with that plan?! You can't honestly tell me that poker, dominoes, and paintball are better for their ratings?!

Fortunately last week I was in a summer class, so I had too much reading to do to notice the lack of sports on television. And tonight I can catch up on other tv shows I recorded last week ("Queer Eye" & "Project Runway"). But what will I do for the rest of the week? I'm going into sports withdrawal! How do the reporters and analysts do it, talking about nothing for days on end? To misquote a musical icon, "I am ready for some football!!!"